Just a few weeks back I was telling myself I don’t want to be doing student stuff ever again. But now, I have just submitted an 11-page paper about organizational problems which I did in 8 straight hours! Damn. I was so intent in making a good paper I ended up making it more complicated than I wanted it to be and in the end I just struggled to make it coherent. Whew. Eight hours is a long time being in front of your laptop. And just when i finished (I think I am one of the few who reached the 3000-word minimum) and I thought I was finally going to rest…then…I couldn’t sleep. Tsada! The wonders of my life.
And since lying in bed and thinking of my not-so-ex-husband and his first-degree cousin mistress is not my most favorite thing in the world, i decide to, yet again, face my laptop and type some more. Sigh.
It was a long day, indeed. And I should be sleeping. But I am tired of fighting monsters in my head, I just want to rant online to no one in particular because I know nobody really reads this anyway. This activity can be somewhat freeing. It is like shouting directly to space all your thoughts and fears and sh*t without the rest of the world really noticing.
Anyway, I miss writing papers. Good papers, that is. I used to go to one of the best, maybe even the best university in the country. And there we did papers the right way—no plagiarism, and those were papers with sense. Then I went to another school for my medical degree, where, though medical education was good, paper making was not. I got lousy at it, same with the rest of the students. But today I proved to myself that somehow the things I have learned from college are still deep within me.
Doesn’t mean though that my teachers will give me a high grade for that paper I just made. For the effort, certainly. Haha! But, for the content…I can only hope. Hopefully, we have the same way of looking at things.
The bottom line of all this, I now have an inspiration to do better than what is standard. I used to be that person who would just care to get a passing grade or to just be in the minimum of things… Now, I want to actually strive for something better than what is “okay”. If I have the chance to reach the top, why not! And of course, there’s no other person in this world who can inspire me as I am inspired now, except for my little man! He makes me a better person. And I am very thankful for that.