Selfish Thoughts

Should I let him go?

…while it is still early…

Because if he falls in love with me then there will definitely be more pain. For him.

I know I won’t fall so easily. Not while I still hate the ex. They say while there is hate and anger, there is still love. So I know the ex can still hurt me. I will still cry for him sometime. He will still matter. And so am I so bad to let the new one stay even if I know I couldn’t give him anything more than just friendship?

But the new one makes me smile. I always wait for his messages. I constantly wish we could spend time together, just to talk and laugh. And my heart is broken knowing we can never really do that…even eat out or have a stroll…because when people see us, they might say nasty things again.

I don’t love him. Maybe I am infatuated. More of the thought that there is someone who treats you nicely.

I have told the new one already we can not be more than friends. But he decided to stay…even if friendship and texting is all he gets. I won’t deny I was so glad he chose to stay.

But should I let him stay? because a part of me is saying I am being selfish. Because in the future I might end up hurting him more. Because in the future I might end up hurting for him, too.

 

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